Commando
No doubt you’ve experienced this quarter-sucker of a game in the arcades as a youth, or at least another game which was inspired by it.
Button-smashing was prevalent in a lot of arcade games, but Commando may take the cake for non-stop action. Back when you had to “get gud” at games, this one was fairly unforgiving for an arcade-to-NES translation.
If you didn’t break a controller smashing the fire button, you may have in frustration otherwise as each of the nearly copycat levels ramps up in difficulty through the end.
The game, however, is fun. Part of that frustration would come from perfecting firefights as you would complete each “mission” which is a batch of four levels – and with four missions, there’s a lot of repetitiveness.
The action scrolls from bottom to top, as you avoid bullets and obstacles, finding hidden “underground” rooms along the way. The protagonist, “Super Joe” (great name by the way) can shoot in 8 directions, including diagonally. Grenades and a machine gun power-up round out the weapons at your disposal.
The levels end with a barrage of enemies storming the screen. It’s these showdowns that make the game special, as you duck, dodge, fire back, and fight to win the missions.
You are then rewarded with the usual 80’s cheesy cutscenes, complete with awful English translation.
The game ends, ***SPOILER ALERT*** with one of the worst few-line “thank you” screens you could think of too!
In all, Commando is still a fun game that harkens back to button-smashing shooters of yesteryear. It’s not Call of Duty and by today’s standards, most kids would probably get bored with it quickly.
For those of us who enjoyed mastering titles, however, it’s well worth picking up and playing. (Especially if you enjoyed Contra.)
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
Super Mario Land 2 returned to its roots following a bizarre entry on the Game Boy platform which had an Egyptian theme mixed with UFOs… this iteration also filled your screen and looked more like a “Mario” title as opposed to the very basic and tiny graphics found in the original Super Mario Land.
Yet, SML2 carried over some ideas from its predecessor on the handheld rather than its big brothers on the NES. Coins didn’t accumulate for extra lives, rather, hearts were found in the recurring question block containers which now filled massive portions of your screen.
Goombas and Koopa Troopers returned as common enemies, with one main boss making his debut which would spawn a set of other games in his name: Wario.
SML2 also incorporated an overworld map and was a larger game in general than the first in the series, with 32 levels total. The super mushroom, fire flower and starman all make an appearance as well for power-ups, but the oddity in this case is Mario’s outfits don’t really change due to the monochrome colors of the Game Boy: with the fire flower, he instead has a feather in his cap.
Of course, the thing most people will remember about this game is Rabbit Mario… predictably achieved by eating a carrot! Mario then has ears on his cap which allow him to jump higher and slowly float by using his “ears”.
The series also features a midway point “save” when reaching a bell, another step in the right direction of being more like other classic Mario games.
The plot isn’t your usual Mario fare either. While our protagonist was away in the strange Sarasaland of Mario Land 1, Wario puts an evil spell on Mario’s private island, Mario Land. The inhabitants do a 180 and think Mario is the villain and Wario is their leader… and thus, the collection of the six Golden Coins begins to unlock your way into Mario’s castle and face his nemesis.
When it comes to retro games, this one ages decently. I find Mario Land 1 to be a bit jerky with controls, and the side-scrolling vehicles to be outside the norm of Mario games. This one is more grounded, though Wario at first just felt like a cheap imitation slapped on the box to give the game a villain, he too has carved out a niche over time – it’s rather peculiar that the sequel to this game features him as an anti-hero of sorts rather than return to the same formula too.
For the most part, if you can get past the usual Game Boy monochrome graphics of sadness, the actual title holds up to this day as one most Mario fans should play. I enjoyed it much more than the original due to having a kinship with Super Mario Bros. 3 rather than Super Mario Bros. 1.
You don’t have to squint to see what you’re doing either (a huge plus), and the controls are much tighter than the original – even if there’s some occasional screen flicker (something, again, you should be able to work around if you’re used to these handheld games).
Mega Man 9
After praising the last two iterations of Mega Man games (7 and 8, which were on the SNES and PlayStation respectively) the ninth game in the traditional series takes us way back to Mega Man 1 and 2 visuals and gameplay… sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.
A digital-only release and the first in the main series since Mega Man 8 on the Sony PlayStation in 1998, Mega Man 9 is a weird duck of the bunch. Rather than progressing the series, it felt like more of a throwback to the day of old, where, once again, Capcom had not lost their sense of sick humor to torture gamers.
Let me be firm in saying:
This game is stupid hard with all sorts of cheap killing mechanics littered throughout.
Rush reappears to help get through some difficult areas, but gone are the ability to charge up the “mega buster” or slide. You can, however, play with Proto Man too and he does have those abilities… for whatever reason that may be.
Some of the weapons are especially cheesy, as are the bosses you face to acquire them. Concrete Man leaves you with the “concrete shot” which creates a concrete block.
The “Hornet Chaser” is another reach in the series, as Mega Man shoots hornets which sting enemies or retrieves items.
You’ll likely settle on two or three special weapons you’ll use throughout the game, if that, and the rest will be long forgotten – showing how long in the tooth the series was at this point, even with a ten-year hiatus.
Some additions to the series are achievements tacked on and a save menu (in lieu of the password system). There’s also another Mega Man first: a female robot master!
Overall it’s a good look back at how these games began, but I really wish they would’ve stuck with the cartoon/anime style they used on the PSX, which feels like a far superior experience rather than going way back to some boring and drab 8-bit styles.
At least the storyline has a few surprises worthy of Mega Man fans playing through the end of the game as well. Otherwise, casual gamers may be more prone to avoid this like many of the original titles in this series as it offers more in the sake of nostalgia than anything truly “new” (and that despite there being nearly a decade between main series releases!)
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past is yet another game I had completed when I was younger, but damn if I know how!
I don’t recall half of this game: particularly the items. If not for a guide, I can’t imagine how many hours I would’ve poured into this one, as it would take blind luck to find several of them.
In fact, I’m fairly certain there are items I did not end up finding when I completed the game as a youth!
Regardless, this thing had to have had 100 hours into it as a kid and even as an adult, 8-10 hours of an investment at minimum with cheats.
That seems like nothing compared to the 100-hour campaigns of today’s titles, such as Breath of the Wild.
Much like the comparisons of BoTW being a masterpiece, Link to the Past is a cult favorite which is a masterpiece in its own right. It can also be downright unforgiving, but it’s also groundbreaking.
I also find it hard to believe how groundbreaking many of the Super Nintendo games were way back when, especially with the Sega Genesis stealing a lot of the system’s thunder.
The reason LTTP is an A+ title, even in 2020, is that it introduces many key features and upgrades to the Zelda series. Link could move in eight directions (diagonal movement was new on the SNES), running (via the Pegasus boots) and his sword no longer stabs but swings which made combat a bit easier in some circumstances.
Two parallel worlds were introduced, as well as “pieces of hearts”, the hookshot, spin attack, and most important of all, the Master Sword presentation.
Needless to say, the graphics, sound, controls and gameplay are all what you would come to expect from a Zelda game. If you’re a fan of the series and haven’t played this one, drop everything you’re doing, because it is a treat that even feels fresh after about the dozenth time I’ve completed it – making it one of my favorite games of all time.
Wario Land II
Wow was this game frustrating. I honestly can’t believe how many people liked this game… to the point where I feel it must be one of those cartridges their parents bought them and they played it for weeks at a time without completing the game!
I know, because that’s where I was with this.
For the first time in a long time of playing first party Nintendo licensed titles, I found a game that is just plain miserable to play. It nearly went on the blacklist, but for the sake of completion (I already started the Virtual Boy sequel Wario Land which is FAR superior), I had to bang this out.
Why is it so maddening to play?
First of all, Wario can’t die. I mean it. You can do whatever you want, it’s impossible to die.
So, instead of having lives or deaths, the game has a number of scenarios that cheaply start you at the beginning of a stage during the boss battles, where you have to start all over from scratch.
Let me repeat: there are no lives and no checkpoints. The game cheats, you can’t avoid it, and you start from the beginning!
To make matters worse, it’s also not clear how to navigate through levels; as to what you’re to do to overcome an obstacle or even what that next obstacle is.
That led to so much time wasted with this game that I wanted to break a controller for the first time in ages. (I honestly wasn’t aware you could “air charge” through a wall until the game’s final board, for example, because it was never required until then!)
If you’re a completionist, play this game.
If not, skip it.
Actually, just skip it. Wario Land 1 (which is Super Mario Land 3) is a way better game.
I’m going to guess since more sequels of this were made that it (hopefully) didn’t suffer from the same flaws!
Splatoon
Splatoon for the Wii U will go down as one of the most overlooked and often forgotten titles of the console’s life cycle. Due to the low sales of the system, and no re-release for the newer Nintendo Switch (which received the sequel) I feel as if most people will never realize how great this first game in the series truly is.
Granted, the big sell of this title is online play, something that Nintendo was never strong at but excelled with Splatoon. But there’s also a charming 27-level single player mode which deserves a lot of credit as well.
The game starts in a plaza where you choose which modes you want to play, including the online or offline options. It also includes some other interactive modes, with a customization shop that features ways to change the appearance of your “inkling”.
From there it’s the inklings versus the squids in a bright, colorful game that I can only describe as Goldeneye meets paintball – yes, 007 had a paintball mode, but the goal if this game is completely “splat” your opponents while covering each world with brightly colored paint.
Naturally, your opponents want to do the same, turning each skater-style park into a turf war of two colors.
A number of painting weapons are at your disposal and each operates in such a strategical way that you’ll end up with a style unique to yourself. You can hone a simple ink gun or go with a giant paint roller – or perhaps you like different bombs which can explode upon impact or on a timed interval.
No matter the way you go about the campaign mode, each level builds upon different skills you learn to master the game. Even the motion controls of the Wii U gamepad (which can also be disabled) feel natural over time.
By the time you get to the final boss, which is one of the longer battles I’ve encountered in a game of this style, you must nail everything – and it never feels too frustrating either. Rather, you will be on the edge of your seat as the adrenaline rush kicks in and a sense of accomplishment upon completing the game.
If you have access to a Wii U, Splatoon is something I highly recommend. The Switch sequel is in much of the same vein, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t check out the original. It’s an absolutely gorgeous game with bright visuals and a thumping soundtrack that’s easy to get addicted to.
WWF WrestleMania
It’s not uncommon for an NES game to be rough around the edges or brutally difficult – thus is the case for WWF WrestleMania, the wrestling giant’s first foray into a licensed console game.
It all starts off innocently too.
The opening game menus welcome you to the big event style of the real WrestleManias, before leading you to a name entry field (common in that era) and then your selection of wrestlers to use: a whopping six!
The names are some of the big ones from that era, including Hulk Hogan, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Andre The Giant, “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, Bam Bam Bigelow, and The Honky Tonk Man.
For an NES game, the graphical presentation is fairly sharp, this coming from renowned Rare Studios (of Goldeneye fame, among many other A+ titles). There’s also theme music with each wrestler, which plays near the conclusion of each match or upon victory.
Game modes are “standard” or “tournament” – the former is more of a free play mode, while the latter is the campaign.
And that’s where things get hairy. I mean, playing a game made in 1989 is hard enough to judge, but I can also go back to my childhood and remember how incredibly frustrating this game is. You want to like it if you’re a wrestling fan, because what else is there to play?
However, moving around 360 degrees makes it difficult to line up with your opponent to strike them. Furthermore, the moves aren’t universal throughout each of the six wrestlers – special moves is one thing (of which, finishers don’t really exist in this game).
It’s pinning your opponent that’s a major hassle. Good luck figuring out the key combination, as your opponent either lies prone or pops up off the mat like a reanimated corpse.
The energy bars, which you must deplete to get them into a pinning predicament, also regenerate – so while you chase your opponent around hoping to land a strike (common move) you rarely connect and then you’re stuck attempting to deplete most of their energy bar once again.
You can run in a direction and off of the ropes, though performing any move from running is also clunky. In fact, the only consistent thing you can do is strike: elbows, kicks, punches, and the occasional headbutt. But, your opponent, even when not facing you, will likely intercept your attempt and hit you before you can land one hit!
Combine this with the typical 8-bit gaming timer, three minutes for tournament matches, and you will end up in a draw more often than not, which starts your match over again until there’s a clear decision.
It’s great to look back at what games were like in 1989, but this is one trip down memory lane that can be skipped altogether. This game is simply NOT fun outside of the menu screens, even if you were a major fan of the WWF/E back in its heyday.
NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
You’re not seeing double, I swear!
Following the review of the Sega 32X version of this very title, I had forgotten that it was also ported to the original PlayStation in 1995 for its launch as well.
Like other CD-based games of its time, NBA Jam T.E. was an arcade-accurate translation of its source material.
Unlike other CD-based games, this one doesn’t suffer from long load times, something highlighted in the book Arcade Perfect: How Pac-Man, Mortal Kombat, and Other Coin-Op Classics Invaded the Living Room by David L. Craddock with an interview with game developer Chris Kirby:
PlayStation’s CD-based storage medium forced Kirby to carefully consider how to read and write data. As the game ran, data was unpacked from the disc and sent to VRAM. To minimize load times, a natural consequence of disc-based media, he arranged the data linearly so the PlayStation’s laser eye that read contents from the disc wouldn’t need to jump around to gather assets and code.
I had also noted many of the updates and changes from the original NBA Jam to Tournament Edition in my 32X review, and still consider the 32X version the definitive one among consoles despite the strong PlayStation showing. That’s due to the many notes in the article above, which any hardcore NBA Jam player would notice between the two versions.
However, the PSX port is so strong of a title on its own, it deserved a separate entry due to the technical achievements of the hardware it ran on and the way the development team handled the translation to the home screen. Unlike its Mortal Kombat cousins on the same system, NBA Jam T.E. is almost always a pleasure to play and really sold how strong the PlayStation hardware was upon its arrival.
Check it out and let me know what you think of the various console ports and their differences! (Note: don’t forget NBA Jam T.E. also released for the Atari Jaguar – I may cover that as well, since its one of the most mainstream titles in a limited library of an obscure console!)
The Little Mermaid
Okay, this wasn’t on my bucket list: but it was a special request by a special someone! (My daughter, in case you were wondering).
The game actually isn’t terrible… that may seem like an odd thing to say about an obvious movie tie-in video game, but younger persons who didn’t experience the height of 8-bit and 16-bit gaming may not be familiar with just how bad some licensed games were back in the day.
Some of them (I’m looking at you E.T.) were unplayable – actually most were.
When the Sega Genesis came along, the powers that be needed to do something to compete with Nintendo. The crux of what came was a Disney partnership which netted the Genesis some higher profile licensing along with actual quality games attached to it, as Disney cracked their nut in the video game market.
That’s not to say this game was perfect by any means. In fact, it lacked some real depth due to the lack of depth in the source material. However, The Little Mermaid can be very difficult due to controls and the way its setup.
Let me explain.
Ariel has to swim through a maze to rescue mer-people. Unfortunately, she and the enemies are much bigger than some of the spaces you have to squeeze through, and getting through stages without dying can be a challenge.
I imagine that’s by design due to it also a very short game.
There are four levels total before you face Ursula… and receive one of the weakest “thank you” endings in the history of video games. (It blinks for about 3 seconds and goes back to the start menu!)
I’m sure this satisfied most gamers appetites back in the day, and it wasn’t a total suck-fest you’d expect from the licensing tie-in either.
There are better Disney licensed Genesis games (namely Aladdin) so this one is largely avoidable unless you’re trying to complete a bucket list or have requests like I did. Keep in mind, you may want to set some cheats just to see how this plays out or else you may break a controller in the process!
NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
One of my favorite all-time arcade games is NBA Jam. When it first released, it gave you the thrill of a rookie Shaquille O’Neal breaking glass backboards along with actual NBA players in a fantasy 2-on-2 setting.
The series jumped to the forefront with an announcer who parodied the NBA’s popular play-by-play guy at the time Marv Albert, using one-liners such as “He’s on fire!”, “Is it the shoes?”, and “Boom-shaka-laka” all becoming commonplace in pop culture.
Getting the game on a home console was like Christmas every day, where you no longer had to pump quarters into the arcade to play each, um, quarter. Like Mortal Kombat, which was also developed by Midway, the translation to home was produced by Acclaim – and it came nearly complete with the same digitized faces/actors that made both series memorable mainstays in the 90’s.
Unfortunately, the home versions (and later arcade revisions) snubbed some of the more popular players from NBA Jam’s rosters. Due to licensing with other game titles, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, and the aforementioned Shaq were absent.
While I wanted to review the plain jane NBA Jam, I learned my lesson from the Mortal Kombat series to just jump right into the best of the bunch – that also happens to be the successor to the first title, NBA Jam “Tournament Edition” or “T.E.” for short.
T.E. brought new innovations to the series, including expanded rosters (you could switch your two players between a mix of three total per team – and could “sub” between quarters too). A tournament mode kept things at a competitive balance for the most hardcore players while “hot spots” and other additions made T.E. the pinnacle of the original NBA Jam games, much in the same way Mortal Kombat peaked with MK2.
The best of the 16-bit era games was actually a 32-bit port, to the mostly unsupported and largely abandoned Sega 32X. The top-heavy add-on was still cartridge based, but had built upon the superior Super Nintendo translation in every way to make the most arcade-worthy port of the T.E. games (until Sony’s PlayStation landed, that is).
Yet, the 32X is worth mentioning here as there are few games that were released for it and T.E. could’ve been a killer app if not for overwhelming their own market by flooding it with Jam available for nearly every console imaginable (including the Game Boy and Atari’s Jaguar!)
But without the CD loading waits (read: long waits) of the PSX, T.E. best lives on with Sega’s 32X as the definitive cartridge console version of its era. It’s well worth revisiting if you have the time, if only to walk down memory lane and play with some of the game’s many hidden characters!