Pokémon LeafGreen


Pokemon FireRed and Pokémon LeafGreen were both enhanced remakes of the 1996 original Pokemon Red and Blue RPGs.

As my first foray into the series, I decided to skip the crappy Game Boy graphics and jump right into the updated versions. Knowing that each game has little difference (other than “catching them all” of course) I flipped a coin and went with LeafGreen.

Mind you, I did not grow up with the Pokemon craze, so my initial reasoning for checking these games out was to see what the hype was. Needless to say, I can see why they have appeal, but catching them all isn’t really my cup of tea.

Yet, the games have charm. They have a good mix of what you’d typically expect from Nintendo titles. This particular game borrows elements from The Legend of Zelda (trading sequences, overworld maps/levels) with that of something akin to Final Fantasy (with the monster battles). However, its unique premise is that instead of acquiring weapons or learning spells, you instead capture “Pokemon” creatures who are then leveled up and do battle with one anothers.

Of course, the more/better you capture, the more/better your odds.

With the groundbreaking double cartridge option, where each game has exclusive variations of certain Pokemon available, and tossing this on a handheld platform, Nintendo created a monster which was spun into its own company.

As for the game itself?

I rather enjoyed it.

As mentioned, the Nintendo hallmarks of a great campaign that didn’t feel too short (but almost bordered on too long) with the usual charm and solid game play, controls, and music helped firmly establish this franchise.

My main gripes are probably more attributed to the Game Boy Advance technology, with consideration that this was ported and remastered to some extent from a monochrome Game Boy title. Those grips include the tedious pacing of reading menus and slamming on the A or B button to labor through them, especially with battles. Thankfully, walking/running around is corrected eventually with use of the bicycle too. (Or else that would’ve been a reason to can this game entirely!)

I couldn’t imagine being a kid and wasting hours of my time without some ability to save states or fast forward through some of the time-killing components of the game. (I imagine the pacing was corrected in later versions, but have yet to verify that.)

Overall, the childish charm of these games shouldn’t be overlooked by any adults who missed this era. As mentioned, if you’re an RPG game type, this will be right up your alley – maybe even more than mine. For that reason, I definitely recommend checking these out, but start here, as the Game Boy graphics (along with the many hours needed to complete the game) may kill your eyesight!

Mega Man 8


Sometimes my retro gaming adventures seem to feel mundane, as if my queue is filled with only one series or genre of game.

Aside from Super Mario Bros., which spans so many different spinoffs, only one other series fits the bill of having a vast amount of titles to play: Mega Man.

With six NES and five Game Boy titles linked to the main series, Mega Man only saw one “main series” sequel on the SNES and some rehashed (though excellent) Sega ports through the 16-bit era life cycle.

Then Sony’s PlayStation ushered in a new era of console gaming and vastly upgraded the only main series Mega Man title that would appear on the system: Mega Man 8.

By this time, you would expect these games to become so run of the mill and boring, but MM8 breaks down some barriers with the PSX’s new technology.

Mega Man 8 is a huge (and I mean HUGE) update to the series.

This iteration continues the traditional boss fights, Wily stages, et al, but changes the graphics style to almost like a Saturday morning cartoon. It’s not quite anime, but the included full motion video cutscenes (which seem corny at first) give you that impression.

They go from corny to commonplace and really add to the game as you play it. Literally, it felt like I was playing a cartoon version of Mega Man… and that’s a good thing!

The boards are colorful, well-detailed, and most of all, they found several ways to bridge tradition with new creative direction.

Now the bad news: the folks at Capcom haven’t lost their sense of dickery: this game is as hard as any of them! They included some midway checkpoints and all of the usual items are there to help: Rush, extra energy tanks, charge beam, sliding, and other non-boss weapon upgrades are just a part of the overall package.

With how many of the Mega Man games were made, this one felt like a true successor to their 16-bit brothers and more so an upgrade to the entire series heading into 3-D polygon era of gaming.

I highly recommend it, even if the other Mega Mans gave you grief!

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link


Welcome to the bastard child of all Zelda games!

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link follows an odd NES pattern of changing up the sequels of Nintendo’s main franchises. Super Mario Bros. 2, for example, was a large departure from the original (at least the United States version was). Yet, SMB2 was just a rehash of another Japanese game with Mario concepts painted over it.

Zelda 2 was… something else.

As one of the only true sequels to the Zelda storyline, the game introduced now-common elements such as the magic meter and “Shadow Link”, but also introduced something else: shear stupid difficulty and a radically different style of gameplay!

As opposed to the original Legend of Zelda, which had a top-down world map and each screen served as an “area” on the map, Zelda 2 when to a side-scrolling adventure for all of the action sequences, only using the top-down map to get from area to area. Those areas included various towns, palaces, caves and more.

This is where the game becomes the devil. Link’s sword is like this itty bitty thing that can barely inflict damage on anything. Jumping is wonky (putting it kindly) and will lead to many deaths too.

Actually, the only cool aspect of jumping is the downward thrust with the sword, which is hard to believe but was something groundbreaking way back then.

The game also had more RPG-centric elements such as leveling up. In fact, many would say this game felt more like a Castlevania game than Zelda, and that much is true. However, like other Zelda titles, certain items and quests were commonplace in order to progress throughout the world to meet your final goal of awaking a sleeping Princess Zelda who is under a spell.

As you finally make your way to the Great Palace, the game features one of the biggest PITA villains in all of 8-bit lore: Thunderbird.

I can’t tell you how many times I died trying to defeat this thing as a kid. And of course, once you do, you are then in a toe-to-toe fight with a tough “Shadow Link” (or “Dark Link” depending on who you talk to.)

The reward for beating Shadow Link is the third Triforce, the Triforce of Courage, which is also a new element added to Zelda 2. (Its predecessor featured only the Triforce of Wisdom and of Power, the latter wielded by Ganon.)

The three Triforces would become a common theme throughout Zelda game, reinforcing the “tri” part of the name.

While this game is an oddity among all Zelda titles, and it’s a major B**** to beat, its also a must play for hardcore Zelda fans due to being a drastically different game that also introduces many hallmarks of the franchise.

I do recommend it, but also be forewarned: you may need backup controllers as you’ll tend to break at least one in frustration playing this!

Perfect Dark Zero


Here’s a game I had much higher expectations for and wish I had a different rating system to give it a different score.

A thumbs-in-the-middle still seems fair, but a lot of my criticisms with Perfect Dark Zero stem from the large shoes it had to fill from the Nintendo 64 original that this sequel is largely based on.

That N64 title is largely considered one of the greatest games of all time. It was a follow-up to another cult classic, Goldeneye 007, which was also on the N64 and developed by Rare. Without the 007 license, Rare created its own characters, storyline, etc. and dropped it into the same game engine while adding improvements – that game became known as Perfect Dark, headlined by a female secret agent in the future called Joanna Dark.

While that game dealt with Area 51, government and corporate conspiracies, this one lifts a similar concept into a much more powerful set of hardware in the Xbox 360. The result is expected to be more of the same goodness that was on the N64, but the game almost feels like too much of a departure in ways from the original and that’s what left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Don’t get me wrong, the futuristic sci-fi secret agent storyline is still there, as are some of the favorite weapons such as the P9P, Falcon, Magnum, or CMP150. However, unlike the original, you can only carry so many weapons – this is a big downer on the game and actually affects your ability to play through some levels if you choose the wrong gun to walk around with.

Furthermore, dual-wielding guns, a pretty big deal from the Goldeneye era of first-person shooters, requires you to use both triggers on the 360 controller – each gun runs out of ammo independently and zoom/scope functions are neutered in this mode entirely.

I’m sure that was a high concept on “realism” but in a non-realistic setting, it falls flat.

The same can also be said of the bigger guns in the game, such as the sniper rifle “Jackal” or fan favorite RCP-90. Picking one of these weapons up requires dropping the smaller handguns. This also occurs if you want to carry land mines or grenades as well; if you’re like me, you just go on without and totally lose the experience of using those goodies.

That’s a real shame too, because some of the additions may have been worthy, but who knows if they were necessary. In my experience, they were not. Ditto for the secondary fire feature on almost the entire arsenal available to you too. (The laptop sentry gun seems much less effective than in the first Perfect Dark, for example.)

There’s also flash bangs and riot shields, nice for eye candy, but pretty useless over making sure you holster the P9P for its scope function when also wielding a close combat weapon, such as a shotgun. About the only piece that feels right with the weapons is reloading times and how fast Joanna moves on screen. The shotgun will take awhile to load shells, while the M60’s weight slows you to a crawl.

The plasma gun is a nice addition, but if not for the walkthroughs and internet guides, I would’ve had zero clue about several other weapons that are available, notably never coming across the rocket launcher.

And that’s about how this game unfolds too. Often I found myself traveling in the wrong direction or going through a level entirely backwards due to a lack of knowing where to go and what to do next. A lot of the levels are recycled ideas from the first game too, such as ancient ruins, underground bases, and a jungle board.

The most unique level is the second one, the first “true” level (since the first is a simulation). You arrive at a night club and are asked to use stealth to locate your first objective. Good luck with that, as the AI sees you and starts a gun fight no matter what: the shots fired alert other enemies and you’re involved in a button smasher from the get go. But that’s okay: just run to a corner and allow the exhaustive supply of AI opponents to come right to your death trap.

Then you can simply run around the board until suggestive arrows finally send you the in the right direction to complete your mission, should you not fail it first by being spotted.

Spotty AI, confusing level layout and gimmicks, such as strange boss battles or using a special gadget to complete a task, hinder the overall experience. Often, the gadgets won’t work, or a certain area will see an NPC not move into the proper spot, an obvious bug which leaves you stuck and restarting. (Thank God there’s checkpoints.)

In all, I enjoyed the game more as I played through, but realized it was far from the source material of the N64 classic. Those with nostalgic feelings over that game would be best served to approach this with caution while also being thankful you can find it relatively cheap these days.

Otherwise, a full-priced Perfect Dark Zero is simply not worth the price of admission.

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon


I’ve never disliked a sequel so badly in my life. For everything the GameCube’s launch title Luigi’s Mansion was, the 3DS follow-up wasn’t.

I’ll retract on that a bit, but not much. The game begins with all of the same setup, charms, and quirks you’ve come to expect from the original game including the Poltergust 5000, Professor E. Gadd, Toad, and more.

In fact, the controls are simplified for the handheld, and much more refined in this way than the original title.

Rather than explore several floors of a single mansion, the game is split into five different worlds, each with missions. This is different than the original game in every way, and oftentimes frustrating, as dying within a given mission means you have to restart over.

The difficulty of some areas is what sucks the fun out of the game. Among my bugaboos are some stupidly difficult bosses early on, including an area with several sister ghosts that can pretty much kill you at will – restarting the mission makes it even more of a chore to continue going back and redoing mundane tasks, which don’t always lend themselves to being obvious as to what to do next.

You’ll waste plenty of time trying to squint to see details on-screen in figuring out what needs done, with some areas seeing you solve the puzzle and still somehow be unaware if you did or not! (This is clearly an issue with an area where you melt the ice off of an elevator, and it still doesn’t work unless you know to sweep up the extra snow alongside it too!)

After solving a puzzle, you’re finally ready to progress through a level before being sharply interrupted by Professor Gad on the “Dual Scream” device (similar to the GameBoy communication device in the original). The long screens of dialog interrupt the game, sucking even more fun out of it.

The same can be said for cutscenes, which occur all over the place and are included, in my opinion, to mask the shortness of some of the game’s levels.

In all, I finally got too frustrated wasting my time with this game. Even if you love the original, it may be a tad of a chore (and bore) to play through. I got about 2/3 through before packing it up after a shooting gimmick boss level.

Not to be outdone, the game features an area with three staircases that legitimately took nearly an hour to complete as you guess which of the three options to take on what feels like 20-some floors of steps.

It’s moves like these that makes me wonder how this game got through Nintendo’s approval process, as I can’t imagine younger gamers wasting the time to go through this headache over and over.

In all the game gets a thumbs-in-the-middle from me. There’s enough here to like, but not enough to make me want to come back and ever play it again… a shame considering how beloved the original is.

Super Mario Kart


The trendsetter for all “kart” racing games holds up very oddly when reminiscing for this review.

Let’s start with the basics: no one thought a racing game based on Mario characters was ever going to work. Yet it did, and here’s why.

First and foremost, Super Mario Bros. is a beloved franchise with even more beloved characters. Each of the stages, which in this Super Nintendo title there aren’t many (later stages are extended rehashes of the same level, with added elements or driving through them backwards, which is now known as “mirror mode”.)

Yet, those stages had a sort of charm, that when combined with the same Mario-inspired power-ups, added a new dimension to your traditional racing game. It’s akin to bumper cars but within a video game.

So, what issues could I have with this title? If it were 1992, not many. The audio is crisp, the controls, despite using only a D-pad (there were no analog sticks at that time) were tight, the difficulty adjusted appropriately throughout and more.

In fact, this game shouldn’t have even been possible on a 16-bit platform, but thanks to extra processing chips within the SNES, it was groundbreaking. Yet, it’s not exactly the best to go back to. There are some frustrating areas of the game and I attribute much of that to the dated graphics and controls.

Still, for a Super Nintendo era game to accomplish what Super Mario Kart did, as well as establishing an entire new genre of games (and spawning numerous, award-winning sequels) it’s hard to be so down on this game.

Go back, appreciate this for what it was at that time and then move forward to see how each title built upon the previous: because that’s what I’m going to do!

Soul Blade


Way back when fighting games were all the rage. As consoles moved from the 2-D realm to the 3-D world with the introduction of a new generation of hardware, these fighting games evolved with them.

Such is the story of Soul Edge, which was an arcade game that was ported to Sony’s PlayStation under the name “Soul Blade”.

Often forgotten as the predecessor to the immensely popular Soul series, which saw a follow-up with the blockbuster Soulcalibur, Soul Blade tells the story of a sword which offers unlimited power. Nine characters try to find who has it; some for personal gain and others to destroy it before it gets in the wrong hands.

Centered around this story are gorgeous graphics and cutscenes for this era of games. Keep in mind, CD quality audio, full motion video, and voice acting were relatively new to games in the mid-90’s.

The game starts with what I’d like to call a ridiculous introduction: I say this as a compliment too!

The introduction video lasts around a full two minutes, with a custom theme song and cuts between different spots featuring each of the characters interacting within their world before finishing with the start screen: “Welcome to the stage of history,” is how the game welcomes you.

After selecting a character, you enter your first battle and its clear this game is different than what you’re used to. Characters somewhat move in three dimensions as the camera pans around the stage. Some stages have a tilt or other motion to them too, which was a new concept.

Each fighter wields a weapon, with each move appearing to seamlessly string together. For example, Li Long uses nunchucks and looks like a Bruce Lee film doing so. Swords and other weapons look just as fluid in their motions.

While the stages look blocky and haven’t aged well, their details are high quality if you were in 1997 playing this. Other small details such as sparks from weapons and a play-by-play announcer add to the feel. Instant replays following each round show the biggest hits and was also something not regularly seen in fighting games to date.

There’s a lot more that could be said about this game, which shares “ring outs”, round systems, health and special meter bars, and more with others from the genre; but there’s no need to go through all of that. I also don’t want to spoil the final battle for anyone who hasn’t played this and is interested: let’s just say that if you can win, you will be treated to a lengthy ending video based on your character that rivals that of the opening sequence.

And in Lord of the Rings movie fashion, it doesn’t end there, as a long end credits scene rolls too.

These tweaks to an already solid fighting game foundation set this as a benchmark for other games to reach. However, it’s usually Soulcalibur that gets recognized as being revolutionary and the more memorable game, despite being a sequel to Soul Blade.

If you enjoy fighting games or the Soul series, this game is highly recommended to play. Just keep in mind, you will have to master the controls and moves for your character, as the game progressively gets more challenging, and rewarding, up until the end.

Gears of War


One of the driving reasons I started this website was to archive the games I played; in doing so, it keeps me driven toward playing titles which I sometimes missed (due to lack of time) or simply fell out of touch with.

None could be truer of the Gears of War series, which is a set of games I certainly purchased over the years but had been collecting dust in the drawer. I’m not sure why either, because this entry into the series freaking rocks!

You’ll likely notice that my screen captures are not from the Xbox 360 edition of Gears, but instead the Xbox One update Gears of War: Ultimate Edition. Part of my decision to include this as a “retro” game (despite being released in 2015) is the backwards compatibility – I was pretty much forced to play this one, but as with some games I missed out on, I don’t mind playing the “remastered” edition over the original, as is the case with Ultimate Edition.

What Ultimate Edition adds or changes isn’t too significant. Obviously, the visuals and audio were remastered to run faster and look better. Those are good things.

The biggest change? Adding in five chapters that were only available in the PC version of Gears 1, and were subsequently nixed from the 360 version. As such, those missing chapters from the first game on the 360 complete the title and were a necessary reason for playing the remaster. (Note: Since this game is based on the original release, I also made the executive decision to include facts for the original and not the remaster as part of this review.)

The final of those cut chapters is a heart pounding battle with the Brumak: If you’re a Gears fan and missed out on this, you must go back and play this chapter, because it’s one of the most satisfying levels I’ve ever played in a game.

The rest of the game plods along with the apocalyptic alien takeover plot you may already know. Some critics say this game hasn’t aged well, but it spawned many sequels and is definitely a classic. For someone who traditionally sucks at video games like myself, I took to the military brute force style just as well as the duck and cover strategy.

The game can be unforgiving in spots if you aren’t sure exactly what to do, but so long as you listen and pay attention, there are more than enough clues throughout so you’re not stuck.

The gruesome way enemies are blown to bits, chopped up with a chainsaw add-on to your souped-up machine gun, or how the characters vulgarly interact with one another, could’ve been cheesy.

However, in the Gears world it simply works, and adds an aesthetic that’s fun, but also shows that some games can be made for adults only.

In all, this game got me excited to go through and Hammer of Dawn my way through the sequels. It was a great visit down memory lane and a remastered title worth revisiting.

Super Princess Peach


Mario games have a tendency of creating spinoffs which send the series in a different direction. Several examples of those are Super Mario Kart, Super Mario World 2 (which spun-off into many Yoshi games with the same mechanics) and Luigi’s Mansion.

Even Toad received a game all his own with Captain Toad Treasure Tracker.

Those are some examples of the many Mario series sister titles out there, but none is more of a sister to the series than a game starring the usual damsel in distress: Super Princess Peach.

Despite being one of the best-selling Nintendo DS games of all-time, I often receive blank stares when mentioning this title. I have a feeling it’s because the game was a departure from the main Super Mario Bros. gameplay much more akin to the American version of Super Mario 2, rather than the aforementioned titles, as it is still a platformer at heart which features many changes from your standard Mario gameplay, but not enough to be entirely memorable or groundbreaking.

The game begins with Peach venturing to Vibe Island, in a reversal of roles, to rescue Mario and Luigi. The island consists of your usual worlds (eight of them) featuring six levels and a boss level. For completionists, each level also has three toads to find/rescue which also factors into unlocking further levels/items. Mario fans will recognize many of the games characters, and of course, the usual protagonists: Kamek and Bowser.

Much of the style is also ripped straight from Super Mario World (including the infamous Ghost Houses), giving this game a mixed vibe (pun intended) of a mash-up of Mario games. I feel as if the developers wanted to mix several of these games together to create a new genre, however, I feel as if they failed to do so in the end product.

The game is colorful and fairly faithful to Mario lore. The departure comes from Peach’s use of a parasol (umbrella in laymen’s terms) which harkens back to her ability to “float” in Mario 2. Rather than use super mushrooms or fire flowers, Peach has four “emotions” which are needed to clear certain objectives. Those emotions are joy, gloom, rage and calm, all with different abilities.

For example, rage sets her on fire and allows her to stomp through certain blocks. With gloom, Peach sheds tears that can put out fires.

Those abilities are activated using the bottom screen of the DS, and when used, drain a special meter that must be refilled in order to use the special abilities.

Otherwise, without the powerups found in traditional Mario games, Peach reverts to hearts, a throwback to how Mario 2 operated with life versus death.

But one thing is fairly straightforward: it’s impossible to get a game over in Super Princess Peach. There are no “lives” and you simply restart a level over if you fail. In this way, the game feels setup for younger players, but there’s enough of a challenge in just the quirks of how this platformer operates to give it some gusto for more experienced hands.

Another nod to other games in the series occurs when “Perry” (the parasol – get it?) turns into a sub, can hook on zipless, or is used as a raft: any Yoshi players will recognize these side features while the sub feels like something straight out of the Game Boy’s Super Mario Land.

Overall the game isn’t necessarily great, but it’s not terrible by any means either. I believe most players would approach this game expecting Peach to run and jump as she did in Mario 2: and those who do will be sadly disappointed.

For others, there’s a new adventure in rescuing the Mario Bros. to give this a shot. But fair warning: it’s a game that’s very easy to complete with very little replay value. After you muscle through some of the longer, more boring stages, you will likely see why this game never received a proper follow up.

Paperboy


I’m going to crush some of your childhood memories of this pointless game… Seriously, even with Wayne’s World, I haven’t put down a game where I’ve said: “What did I just play?”

Even with that weird ass game (Wayne’s World) I knew it was based on a movie and that games based on IP such as movies and comics usually sucked hard.

This game?

It’s based on a job: busy work for little kids looking to make a few pennies, slaving every single day of the week with no breaks.

“Oh, that sounds like fun! Let’s make it into a game!”

No. Just no… Lots of no!

I understand the appeal though, as all games from this generation were impossibly difficult and suffered from lame graphics, poor controls, and zero logic. Furthermore, this NES title was derived from an arcade game designed to extract as much money from your pocket as possible. (With the irony being, kids were probably delivering papers to blow quarters on this in the arcade!)

Along the line somewhere this became a concept and now they had to figure out how to make it into a reality. Naturally, the kid on a bike must have some obstacles to overcome to find the goal, right?

Is that a gap between the road and the car? Yes, it is.

Can you go through it?

Not without crashing into the car!

The road hazards seem like a natural fit, as did some other obstacles. Some make complete sense! An angry homeowner or dogs chasing you? Makes sense!

Even random construction or street workers, or the occasional go kart or motorcyclist make sense.

But a tornado? Tombstones? The Grim Reaper?! Odd looking discs?

Not so much.

Then there’s the “training course”, which should just be code for “this game is Excitebike tilted at 45 degrees” – that just screams “don’t even try playing it”.

Good riddance!

I do get some of the appeal with this game, however, and that’s the satisfying feeling of breaking windows with your newspapers (instead of, you know, delivering them on a porch or mailbox!)

However, this was not the trip down memory lane I was hoping it was. Even with multiple attempts, that trip ended by landing in a storm drain…

I’m sure this has nostalgia for many, but since I wasn’t traumatized by this game as a youth, it was nothing but a frustrating romp. Play at your own risk!